hazelnut coffee

your way Abba...


time to time i think about dropping everything i’m currently doing and just taking off. build an orphanage, school, safe house, or sth. become a carpenter! having some very basic first aid training and medical knowledge will be helpful too. k, i’ll stop there. i wonder if and when that time will ever come.

maybe i just don’t want to face my sinfulness. maybe i just want to escape from everyone else’s sinfulness, sorrows, grievances, pains. maybe i’m just longing for His Kingdom to be here. and i know there needs to be work done before the time comes, but i still yearn.


child of weakness, watch and pray,
find in Him thine all in all

thoughts #3

A few nights ago, I went to my co-worker’s brother’s wake. I’d never met him before, never talked to him before, never even heard of him before. Who would have thought that this person’s wake was going to be my very first wake attended, first soul-less body to be seen. Looking down at the casket, my heart was broken for those who were in the room. All I could pray for was that my co-worker will come to know Christ. That this will wake up her family to seek the Savior, who promises Himself for all eternity, the everlasting joy and contentment. Not something fleeting, temporary, sorrow-giving, ephemeral, fading, deteriorating.

"The grass withers, the flower fades
when the breath of the Lord blows on it;
surely the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God will stand forever.” - Isaiah 40:7-8

Yesterday at work I got punched 4 times and got smacked on the head by a 3-year-old boy… I’m sure the mom was embarrassed by her boy’s behavior but instead of stopping him or apologizing, she said, “he’s flirting, he only does that to pretty girls.” I didn’t know how to respond. After I finished interviewing the dyad, I couldn’t help but think what I would do if my kid did that. Parenting is definitely one of the many things that scares me the most, thinking about the future. Probably because a lot of times you are not in control. Even if you do everything “right”, things may not turn out the way you intended. It’s definitely going to be a time where I would need to and have no other choice but to trust in God.

thoughts #2

He knows what I need so much better than I do. Even when I’m not aware of my own needs, He pours out in abundance. Even when I’m so nearsighted to see why I need this provision, He gives graciously. Even when I’m ungrateful to receive it, He still shows His goodness to me by loving me in this way.

Sometimes, a lot of times, good and necessary medicines are more painful to take since they’ll make our bodies spit out all the unhealthy things that we so dearly cling on to. But that fear shouldn’t stop you. Otherwise, you’ll never get healed and you’ll just get sicker and sicker. 

Thoughts from working on a project at work: Thankful for clean and safe water for drinking. Thankful for a toilet that flushes. Thankful that I can wash my hands with soap. Thankful I can get water anytime I need. Thankful for relatively a clean and safe environment I’m living in, working in. 

Whether an acquaintance or a friend or a complete stranger, whether young or old, whether you know their names/faces or not, it doesn’t matter. Hearing about someone’s passing is always a deeply saddening news. Also because you know how heart wrenching it is for their loved ones. But the most saddening part is that some of their spirits might not be with God. 

Love when you can. Love when you have the time and energy to. Love, even when you are tired and weary. Love, even if that means you have to die to yourself. Because we are called to love for He loves us and He takes care of us. All of our needs are met by him so why should we worry about ourselves. Why should we be so self-centered to see beyond our own needs. Act before it’s too late, before you regret it. Even the given opportunities are gifts and mercy from Him.

Philippians 3:20-21a - read it out loud, word by word. chew on it. taste it. swallow it. digest it. and enjoy the overwhelming conviction that this is what we believe in and yearn for. 

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. 

brokenness, sorrows, tears, grievances, sadness, sicknesses, terrible things happening every second, as the manifestation of the fall. i know God ordained it that way but God please, you have to come and rescue your people soon from this fallen world.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new! … It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son.” - Revelation 21:1-7

generally, I’m very comfortable being by myself and actually I prefer to be alone but after having a number of visitors in the past few days, my apt feels extremely empty…

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